Journal
Response to D. H. Lawrence’s Sons
and Lovers
Mr.
Bauld,
In order for you to get a better idea on my thoughts on the book Sons
and
Lovers by D.H. Lawrence, I am
going to do my response almost as journal
entries. Since you already know the basic plot on the book I will focus
less
on the plot and more on how it affected me after each section I read.
After the first 4 chapters (up to page 74)
After reading the first five chapters of Sons
and Lovers I'm not quite sure
what to think. I change my opinion of the father, Walter Morel,
every few
pages. One minute I'm filled with pity for him. The next I'm filled with
hate. When Gertrude Morel first met her husband she was pretty naive.
She
seemed only to love him at first because he wooed her. She didn't love
the
man he really was. This man, though a beautiful dancer, was
undereducated
and not well off. I think Mrs. Morel drove Mr. Morel into drinking. Mr.
Morel tried to please her in the first year of her marriage by not
letting
her worry about the money matters and speaking to her in loving ways.
She
resented him because he was not as smart as her. She was not happy with
who
he was. She wanted him to be more noble. If
he made small mistakes she
tortured him. I felt bad for him because Mrs. Morel made her children
(they
really were her children) hate him. He wanted to be included more in
their
life but knew he wasn't wanted.
Throughout the first 4 chapters Mrs. Morel constantly displayed her
detest
for Mr. Morel but yet after he had come back from leaving, "Her
heart was
bitter, because she had loved him." (page
41) Does this mean that she loved
him at that moment, despite his foolishness and her heart was bitter
because
she could not understand why she loved him or
did she resent the fact that
she had once loved him and now she wonders how she could have ever loved
that fool?
Paul seems to have an almost over the top obsession with his mother. He
loved to sleep with her. It is natural for a parent to sleep in the same
bed
as their child when their child is ill but the way D. H.
this sleeping together on page 61 it makes one wonder whether it is two
lovers sleeping side by side as opposed to a mother and her son. Paul
went
out of his way to please his mother, searching high and low for
blackberries. He would even bring back love tokens for her.
The one thing that irritates me, when reading the novel, is the dialect,
especially that of Mr. Morel. All of the uneducated locals speak
horrible
English. I often have trouble trying to understand what they are saying.
Even though I detest reading this dialect, D.H. Lawrence creates a more
thorough image of his characters with it.
On page 59 Mrs. Morel thought to herself that: "Perhaps it would
have been
a little relief to her if he had died. She always felt a mixture of
anguish
in her love for him." It seems strange for a person to almost
desire for a
loved one to die but it makes sense. Her love for Paul caused her a lot
of
trouble. Since he was often sick, a large stress on her was placed on
her.
If he died there would be a relief from this stress but then there would
be
a new stress of having lost a loved one.
After reading chapters 5-7 (pages 74-157)
I pity Morel. Everybody in the Morel family has people that love them,
except Morel. He loves his family even though he doesn't really show it,
but
they all despise the man. The family was happy while their father was
sick.
Mrs. Morel felt indifferent to the man when he was in pain. She wanted
to
love him, but couldn't. They would have all preferred he stayed at the
hospital and never came home.
I hated William's Lily. She is a spoiled, arrogant, nitwit. She treats
the
Morels' as if she were the queen and they
were her followers. I cannot
understand how William could possibly put up with her for so long. She
is
horribly self centred
in her thought and actions. I wonder if she even loved
William at all, or did she just love the fact that she could use him to
buy
her pretty things. When Williams death was
foreshadowed by his saying, "If I
died she'd have forgotten me in three months." (page
117) William was right
after he died the only thing we heard from Lily was about her having a
great
time at a dance. That doesn't sound like she experienced much sorrow, if
any
at all.
Paul's relationship with his mother is continuously getting stranger.
When
they were on their way to visit the Leivers
Mrs. Morel put on a new blouse.
Paul complemented her on it, which is normal, but then he went on to
study
her backside. It is not normal to be "checking out" your
mother's behind. On
their walk he picked flowers just for her. When Paul finally starts to
become close to a girl besides her mother, Miriam, his thoughts almost
immediately go back to his love for his mother.Miriam
is a very dramatic girl with a romantic way of looking at nature The
emotions she feels completely consume her. At times I feel sorry for
Miriam. The mother is obviously jealous of her because she takes Paul
away from her. I was surprised when Annie started feeling jealousy
towards Miriam as well. Annie isn't overly close with Paul, unlike her
mother. At one point Miriam started complaining about how women have no
rights. At first I saw her point of view but then when Paul offered to
teach her things and she shied away, I realized that it was largely her
own fault she was stuck in her position. If she really wanted to learn
she would make an effort.
Chapters 7-12 pages 157-262
I hate Mrs. Morel. It is her fault that Paul will never have a normal
relationship with a female. She showers too much attention on him,
neglecting both Annie and Arthur. She has little problem allowing Annie
and
Arthur to court their mates but she is consumed with jealousy when Paul
goes to see Miriam. Since Mrs. Morel never loved her husband she
concentrates
most of her husband's love, upon Paul. On page 186 there was a very
intense scene between Paul and his mother. The scene was concerning
Paul's
relationship with Miriam. Mrs. Morel felt that Miriam was stealing Paul
away
from her. Paul says, "I really don't love her. I talk to her, but I
want to
come home to you." The mother begins to say, "And I've
never-you know, Paul- I've never had a husband- not really-And she
exults so in taking you from me- she's not like ordinary girls."
Paul reassures his mother that he does
not love Miriam then Paul and his mother engage in "a long fervent
kiss."
This should not be a scene between a mother and her son! This is a scene
between a male and a female. The mother even cries, "My boy!"
to him in "a
voice trembling with passionate love." while Paul stroked her face.
The
relationship between these two reeks of incestuous love. It is
despicable,
to say the least. The only reason Paul has not put serious thoughts into
marriage is because his mother is as much of a wife as he needs.
I don't particularly like Miriam. I certainly pity her, though. Paul has
played with her heart. Throughout the beginning of their relationship
there
was no physical contact and it was Paul's fault. If he had tried to kiss
her
she would have allowed it, but he never did. Paul was under the
impression
that there was no physical attraction with Miriam but he was wrong. He
only
believed this because he was afraid. Miriam always thought about how she
would like to put her hands on his body. There were many scenes where
D.H. Lawrence showed how Miriam's sexual energies were being repressed.
When Paul began to actually court Miriam, I was happy. I thought that it
would solve all of their problems but instead Paul only really wanted
Miriam, at that
point, to lose his virginity. I couldn't believe that after having spent
7
years as friends he practically forced her into sleeping with him after
only
courting for a short time. It ruined their relationship. Miriam only
slept
with him because she felt that they would be married and this was one of
the
sacrifices she must take. Paul on the other hand, after 24 years of
virginity, just wanted to get it over with. He may have not realized it
himself. Maybe he believed that he loved Miriam but he never really did.
They were not meant for each other. Once the courting began lust was in
charge, not love. It is terrible that Paul could not realize that they
were
not meant for each other until after he took her virginity. I really
hope
that Miriam does not become pregnant; however, it is very likely that
she
will.
Clara Dawes is a fine character. She is intelligent, mysterious and
strong.
If Miriam had not come into the picture first, and Clara had never had a
husband, I would want Paul to marry her but, this is not the case.
Miriam
deserves Paul. She spent 7 years on that boy. Clara would be able to
survive
without him.
Conclusion of my thoughts after finishing
the book
I really enjoyed reading Sons and Lovers. D. H. Lawrence's writing takes
you away into the world he creates. Paul's relationship with his mother
has the makings of a classic Oedipus complex. It was impossible for Paul
to love a woman thoroughly while his mother was alive. He constantly
compared women to his mother. His mother treated Paul as her husband
because her real husband did not live up to her ideals. At the end of
the novel it was Paul who looked after her treatments. He was more of a
father in the end than Mr. Morel could ever be. Mr. Morel was hated by
his family. He wanted to be more involved with his family but they shut
him out. Mrs. Morel caused him to turn into an alcoholic. She would not
accept the person he was. She shunned him because he did not live
up to her ideals and she taught her children to do the same. In the end
Mr. Morel was filled with grief but neither Mrs. Morel nor Paul would
let him interfere with their last moments together. Mr. Morel was
afraid to enter the room where Mrs. Morel laid because he knew that she
did
not want him near her.
Arthur Morel was ignored throughout the book because he resembled his
father. The mother thought of Arthur as irresponsible, much like his
father.
Since all the entire family despised Mr. Morel they did not show much
affection towards Arthur, who resembled his father.
I do not quite understand why Clara Dawes did not get a divorce from her
husband. She did not love him. Baxter might have loved her but a healthy
relationship cannot be one-sided. Clara and Paul's relationship was
purely
one of passion and physical love whereas Miriam and Paul's relationship
was
of a spiritual level. Clara and Paul were together because they had a
fun
together. Paul did not love her. Lust was the major player in the
relationship.
Miriam and Paul's relationship could not be based on lust. Miriam and
Paul
were in love on the spiritual level. Their minds were meant for each
other
but not their hearts. Throughout the first segment of their relationship
there was no physical contact. This is because Paul's mind and body
acted
separately. He was not physically attracted to Miriam, unlike Clara.
In the end both of these relationships began to smother Paul. He needed
to
be with somebody that would not take over the role of his mother. Miriam
wanted his soul all to herself and would have
taken him completely away from
his mother if she had the chance. In the beginning Clara was perfect.
Mrs.
Morel still possessed Paul's soul and Clara offered the physical love
that
Paul desired. After awhile though, Clara began to smother Paul, always
wanting to be with him. Paul told her his love for her was meant for the
evenings. Love is not love if it can be controlled by the hours in a
work
day.
It was a little strange at the end how Annie and Paul conspired to kill
their mother, even though, it makes sense that they should want to put
an
end to her suffering. When Paul decided to poison her mother and finally
put
an end to her suffering, Annie and Paul "laughed together like two
conspiring children." This does not seem natural.
When nearing the end of the novel I thought that Paul might commit
suicide.
It is good that D.H. Lawrence ended the novel on a more pleasant note
with
Paul leaving the darkness behind him and heading towards the lights but
I
think the ending would be more final if he had committed suicide. The
way
the ending is, we have no way of knowing how Paul's life turns out.
I am definitely glad I read Sons and Lovers. It was one of the best
novels
I have read and I will be sure to recommend it to people.
Response
to the essay "Conterfeit Loves" by
Mark Spilka
I agree with Mark Spilka in why he believes
Miriam lost in the spiritual
conflict. The spiritual conflict was that between Paul's love for his
mother
and Paul's love for her. Spilka believes
that Miriam loses because of her
failure to physically attract Paul. Miriam would never be able to lose
herself in pleasure. She is far too intense. Spilka
made a good point that
D.H. Lawrence uses the swing as a symbol of Miriam's future sexual
problem.
Paul enjoyed himself on the swing. He felt like a "bird that swoops
for joy
of movement." The feeling of Paul's firm thrust as he pushes Miriam
on the
swing scares her. She cannot allow herself to have a moment of simple
pleasure.
Spilka makes a good argument that "the
chief 'split' between Paul and
Miriam comes from the abstract nature of their love,
and not from the
mother's hold upon the young man's soul." but he is not
entirely correct. It
is true that Miriam is largely at fault for the relationship's failure
but
if Paul had not been possessed by his mother than he would have
allowed
Miriam to absorb him. In the beginning if Paul's mother hadn't rejected
Miriam than Paul would have allowed himself to love Miriam. If he had
known
his love early on then he would have begun to court her sooner. It would
have been a more gradual courtship, allowing Miriam to warm up to the
idea
of physical love. Instead Paul rejected her love throughout the
beginning.
Only after becoming desperate to lose his virginity did he come back to
Miriam. He used her at this point. He should have anticipated that
Miriam
was going to be frigid concerning physical love after being denied it
for 23
years. He didn't allow her enough time to get used to his courtship
before
sleeping with her. Spilka was right about
Clara's awakening as a woman with Paul. He gave her physical pleasure.
He showed her how to enjoy the pleasures shared between a man and a
woman. Their relationship was based on lust and it was rewarding to them
both, despite Clara not being fully satisfied by him. He showed her that
her husband really did love her, unlike Paul.
Contrary to
what Spilka believes, Mr. Morel did not lose his manhood. It is
true that he cowers from his wife but throughout the novel there were
sections where Mrs. Morel noticed her husband's still attractive figure.
One's manhood is not just being a strong mature person. It also involves
the
physical man. She realized he was a man, an attractive one at that. It
is
true that Mrs. Morel intimidates him but it is no different than with
the
other family members. Mrs. Morel is the strongest force in that family,
and
she controls how it is run. Nobody dares to go against her.
Spilka is sadly mistaken when he says that
Paul's relationship with his
mother is a healthy one, in the early years. The way D. H. Lawrence
describes the scenes shared between Paul and his mother are the way one
would describe a scene between a male and female who fancy each other.
When Paul is sick with bronchitis and his mother sleeps beside him,
nature that is not natural between mother and son. It is true that
William’s
death caused the mother to concentrate all her love on Paul but I think
Paul's love for his mother was just as strong in the beginning. It was
only
the mother's love for Paul that changed drastically.
The main point Spilka made that I agree
completely with is that Paul was
not able to become a man until he turned his back on his mother and the
darkness and walked quickly to the glowing town. Paul needed to become
an individual, free from his mother, Miriam and Clara before he could
become a
man.